It's not a secret... it's just mine! For now.

Lately the kids have been riding me about how much time I spend on the computer. What annoys me about it is that they say it in front of Hubby, which makes it sound like I'm ignoring my duties as Domestic Goddess.

I'm no Cinderella or Suzie Homemaker for that matter, but my house is not a pigsty. On the other hand it's not immaculate either. Nobody will ever mistake me for the Queen of Clean. So I ask you... IF

they get to school on time, with everything they need
then I get to work on time, most days with everything I need
they get to every practice & game on time, with everything
they go on vacation, Bruins games, the movies, date night, etc.

Before or After

I've worked a 5-7 hours shift, standing for nearly 80% of it
I've sat in the rain or freezing cold to watch every game/practice
the laundry is done
the meals are prepared
the fridge & pantry are stocked
the floor is swept
the rugs are vacuumed
the bathrooms are scrubbed
the homework is done
the daily grind is over
and everyone go to bed in a comfortable, happy home

then why the eff are they griping?

I think of myself as someone who loves to connect with others who share my life, someone who would give the shirt off her back to those in need, someone who enjoys being creative, someone who is making a difference, and someone who deserves "me time".

That's why I spend so much time here. Writing, for me, is intensely therapeutic, extremely liberating, and very enjoyable. I hope my sons will find this same joy and passion for writing as I do.

One of the reasons I created this blog, as well as my gratitude journal, is because it helps me appreciate the reason I've been given this life. It keeps me grounded by reminding me just how good I've got it.

I cannot wait until the boys are able to savor the words I have written here for them. I hope that they, too, will leave a similar legacy to their children someday.

So, boys, until I'm ready to share this sacred place with you & Daddy, I'll keep it a secret. This is my retreat and I'll spend as much time here as I need.

Consider it a Mother's Day present... to myself.

The Rules of Summer

Alright Ladies, it's that time again! I think we all need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, raise your big toe and repeat these words below:

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals & open-toed shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will wax the hairs off my toes and the tops of my feet.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.


Now, quick... pass it on!

3 Beautiful Things 56/365

My gratitude journal for Tuesday April 28, 2009:

1. success at the scrimmage
2. Birdie's 3 straight outs on the mound
3. great teamwork

Life is good when everyone plays well.

Are you there God? It's me, Lisa. Chapter 2

Hi there,
If you can hear me, I need your help again. I can feel the pot starting to simmer and I don't want any of us to get burned. So I hope you'll help guide us away from the ugly vibe I can sense. In other words, make sure that we don't let ourselves boil over the edge.

Sometimes we can all take it too seriously and get caught up in the excitement, forgetting the what matters most. I know we're not the only ones, but it can be so frustrating and all of us end up feeling miserable.

We remember our own parents telling us that life isn't always fun or fair. Now, today, we find ourselves delivering this same "reality check" speech. Yet somehow our message fails to ease the disappointment and can actually fan the flames of self-pity.

Dreams, especially those of children, can often outweigh the scale of reality. But without the dream, many of us would never venture outside our comfort zone. Failure, even by the smallest of margins, must not diminish the glory of the effort.

The lesson we want the boys to learn is that most of us fail before we succeed, and all of us have felt disappointment along the way. Yet it is how one faces defeat that is the true measure of character.

So please, God, whisper in our ear (or shout if we don't hear you the first couple times) how to effectively teach our sons the value of grace & dignity, and how we can soothe the inevitable wounds of despair.

3 Beautiful Things 55/365

My Gratitude Journal for Saturday April 25, 2009:

1. spending time with my "twin" sister *

2. making friends with Harley **

3. sharing leftovers with Gingie Girl ***

Life is good when we spend time with Auntie & her furry family.

* this sister is only 17 months older than me

** my nephew's 1 year old pit bull

*** "twin's" 12 year old golden retriever

3 Beautiful Things 54/365

My gratitude journal for Friday April 24, 2009:

1. today's weather: high 70's & sunny... unbelievable
2. wearing sandals in April... without socks
3. reading outside in the adirondack chair

Life is good when it's near 80 here in April, instead of 30.

3 Beautiful Things 53/365

My gratitude journal for Thursday April 23, 2009:

1. sleeping in
2. power naps
3. going to bed early

Life is good when you have time to rest & refresh.

3 Beautiful Things 52/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Wednesday April 22, 2009:

1. my favorite motherhood moment of the week: watching the boys make strides to achieve success at the goals they set for themselves

2. my favorite day in April: Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's (Although we didn't go this year, we had 2 last year! Come on, you would have, too...)
3. my new favorite words: "BRUINS WIN!"
Do I sound like a broken record? Well, bear with me because I think I'm going to say it alot in the upcoming weeks!

Life is good when you make favorites.

Good Old Fashioned Joy

A while back, I was honored by two of my fellow bloggers with the distinguished "Lemonade Award". This award is presented to people who are thought to demonstrate great Attitude &/or Gratitude.

Thank you Shabby Girl & Tricia for sharing this honor with me. I have always savored the tangy mix of lemons & sugar in a refreshing glass of lemonade, but have never really thought of myself as having an uplifting spirit.

As I wrote in yesterday's post, I used to have a much more pessimistic view of life. But since becoming a mother, I have tried to wear my rose colored glasses along the way. Writing a daily "gratitude journal" to remind me about all of the little things I am thankful for has totally changed my perspective about the life I've been given.

So remember to share your gratitude throughout your journey. And when life hands you lemons, add water, then blend the bitterness of the world with a spoonful of sugar from your happy heart. Sip, smile & share!

When the tide turned

Yesterday, as I was sitting at the cafe table inside the Mobil store sipping coffee, the boys stood at the door collecting donations for Little League. At the next table, two men commented about how well the kids were handling themselves. I told them how much my sons really enjoy "tag" week, where the players are sent out in the community to solicit donations for the program, and that it's the boys' way of saying "Thank You" to all of the coaches & volunteers.

We also talked about how much I value the programs our town offers the children in our area, which in turns gives kids something to do other than stir up trouble or experiment with the rampant drug activity here. That's when one man began to blame the trouble & drugs on the recent rise of "the black" population, saying that our area never had problems this bad until "those blacks got here".

I tried to sway the conversation away from this negativity by turning the conversation back to how my boys love sports. No matter what he said, I tried to put a positive spin on things. Eventually he back down and said "You must be an eternal optimist."

This is when it hit me that since I became a mother, my life is different and so is my outlook. I told him "Actually, until recently, I always saw my glass as half empty. And it wasn't until I had children that I learned that my attitude would affect they way they saw the world. So I decided that I needed to adjust my way of thinking, and put more emphasis on the positive aspect of a situation. I don't always succeed, but most times I stress the importance of making a constructive difference in the world."

Although I'm not a perpetual Pollyanna who wears rose-colored glasses, I do try hard to make the boys understand that they have a choice to be happy, to find ways to make a bad situation better, and to turn their misfortune into a learning experience.

I love sharing stories with Birdie, ones that pull at my heart strings because these stories somehow seem to strengthen our bond. Just recently I told him about the days I watched the Columbine & 9/11 horrors unfold, and how each tragedy affected my life.

As he listened, I could see the change in his eyes as he tried to comprehend the details. Later that evening, the news ran some footage from Columbine so we watched it together. He was stunned to see what happened inside that school and the terror that ensued.

Maybe this story was too intense for a ten year old, but it is my hope that it raised his level of compassion. I also hope that he learned that he must find a reason to move forward even when the road appears to end.

3 Beautiful Things 51/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Tuesday April 21, 2009:

1. I never get tired of saying "Bruins win!"...
2. I never get tired of helping my children succeed
3. I never get tired of being the mother bear

Life is good with the endurance to keep going strong.

3 Beautiful Things 50/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Monday April 20, 2009:

1. the sound of Moxie's silly cooing & itty bitty cry
2. the sound of the boys playing well together
3. the sound of my husband's car coming up the road

Life is good when you like what you hear.

3 Beautiful Things

Here is my gratitude journal for Sunday April 19, 2009:

1. the weather is getting warmer & the sun feels hotter
2. the cremee stand is finally open... woo hoo
3. found the book for my new book club

Life is good with warm sunshine, cold ice cream, & a good book.

My Bucket List: 21-30

Here is my third installment of The 101 Extraordinary Things I've Always Wanted To Do (Before I Die).

This list is merely my reminder of what I want to accomplish over the next 50 years, if I am blessed to live that long.

I'd be ecstatic to fulfill even just 20% of this entire list, because one just never knows what the future holds. But I'm gonna die trying. Wish me luck!

21. visit Sequoia National Park to see the magnificent Redwoods
22. fly in a glider over the Autumn foliage in Vermont
23. go windsurfing in Aruba
24. ski at some of the best resorts in Colorado
25. see a live performance by Cirque de Soliel
26. adopt a baby girl (once the boys are in high school)
27. write a children's book
28. take an art class & expand my creative horizons
29. have lunch with my mom, sisters & John Edwards (the medium)
30. learn how to golf with Hubby

3 Beautiful Things 48/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Saturday April 18, 2009:

1. meeting old friends & making new ones on FaceBook
2. fun in the dugout at Nut's scrimmage against all the dads
3. my friendship with Carrie, who I miss desperately because I haven't been to a fun party since she left... Bunco anyone?

Life is good when you enjoy a few laughs with friends & neighbors.

GO BRUINS!

3 Beautiful Things 47/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Friday April 17, 2009:

1. The boys completed their "Honey Do" lists without grumbling
2. The boys cooperated with my plans to green-up the T-Ball field
3. The boys didn't whine when I got them a smaller size treat

Life is good when the boys are easy to please.

3 Beautiful Things 46/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Thursday April 16, 2009:

1. Kessel scores! woooo
2. Kessel's 2nd goal, a pretty empty-netter! woooo
3. Bruins win 4-2!

Life is good when you find the Achilles heal of your long-time nemesis.

A Life Letter to My Sons

Thursday April 16, 2009

My dear sweet boys,

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me the privilege of being your mom. If I could stop the hands of time so I could keep you young, I would. In fact, I'd turn the clock back to the days that you were both babies, so I could relive every single day from Thursday October 28, 1998 until Monday September 10, 2001. Then keep rewinding over & over.

But I know that's impossible so I will try my best to guide you through this sometimes charming, sometimes catastrophic ride called Life.

I pray with every beat of heart that I will live long enough to hold my great-grandchildren in my arms as I sing them lullabies. However if for some reason I cannot be there, I want you to honor these keys to life:

always respect your fellow man, regardless of your differences
always be polite & courteous
reach out to those less fortunate than you
pay it forward
treat people the way you would want them to treat you

extend tokens of appreciation & affection
don't be afraid to express your true feelings
be honest, loyal & dependable
question authority without confrontation
your actions speak louder than words

Also please always remember that...

work is always secondary to family
having a passion for something is one of life's treasures
a higher education will enhance your future
you can only make a first impression once
punctuality shows respect
when you commit to something, follow it through to the very end

a tattoo is permanent
no President has ever had their ears or tongue pierced
drugs destroy brain cells
smoking is a filthy, cancerous habit
someone is always watching you
you must be willing to pay the consequences for your actions

it's okay to admit when you are wrong
an apology is more effective with sincerity
humility is more honorable than pride
words are very powerful weapons

the words "I love you" are not just a phrase; it's a feeling
a pet is a lifetime commitment
it's vital to give back to your community
laughter is the best medicine
it's okay to cry

a gentleman always holds or opens a door for others
women enjoy sincere compliments, not catcalls
sex and making love are two different things
you must ask your future in-laws for their blessing
it is noble to get down on one knee when proposing

romance is one of the keys to undying love
endearment is a valuable part of any relationship
communication will simplify your life
fidelity, trust & devotion strengthen your bond
it's never too late to start over

no matter where you go, I will be with you in spirit
you have made me very proud
the world needs positive role models, so be one
your home should always foster love & support

Although the path to your future may have been unclear, my goals for you were always decisive. I believe that I was put here to leave you with a legacy of love, hope and honor.

I have always loved you more than mere words could express. And if I should ever be asked what good I have done for mankind, I would confidently say that I was a good mother.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mom

Always Remember ~ My 100th post

Today was a beautiful day.

I had the day off
so I did a little shopping
got myself a new bra and a pair of black jeans
went to the library
had a nice chat with an old friend
made new friends on FaceBook
baked cupcakes with Birdie for Mr. Flanagan's b'day

I've been thinking about what I wanted to post today
so I wandered around Blogger for inspiration.
I found it!
And it reminded me to always remember, so

I will always remember...

the black and white photos of my childhood,
especially the ones of my siblings lined up on the couch,
my brother holding the newborn baby (me),
all of them smiling so happily!
how freaking cute all of them were back then
the picture of them lined up in front of the tree
how few pictures there are of me growing up
the ones I remember most were taken at Nonie's house

Nonie's parlor with the blue-green furniture
DelVeneri's Bakery
the crusty bread baked in a wood-fired oven
the rare occasions we ate dinner at Nonie's *yum*
the lillie's of the valley & peonies on Meadow Street
the huge wedding picture of my parents

camping at Lake Dunmore with Dad's parents
my brother yelling "Irma!", which got him in trouble
the sweet smell of Grandpa's cigars
Uncle Johnny teaching how to bounce quarters on our beds
exploring upstairs at Aunt Tracy's house

peeing my pants in Sister Justin's 1st grade class
never wearing a seat belt as a kid
bouncing from seat to seat in the station wagon
the attic adventures in the old house on Spellman Terrace
stowing away in the bed of the pick-up while Dad drove to work
going to the 50 cent matinees every Saturday
sharing banana splits with my friend Lisa at Woolworth's

my first french kiss ~ too much tongue *yuck*
my first real boyfriend, Lenny
dumping him for the gorgeous guy who took my virginity
having my heart broken for the 1st time by that gg
senior year religion class with Father LaValley
the huge picture of me that hung in the window of Bartlett's Studio

the first time I got drunk
the first time I smoked weed
the first & only time I tried "coke"
my 1st apartment
bar hopping
moving away from the town I grew up in to escape a bad relationship

being in the best shape of my life
dating several guys at once to regain my confidence
the trip to Long Island with Janice & Dottie
getting set-up on a blind date with Hubby
my first concert with Hubby ~ Stevie Ray Vaughn & Joe Cocker
Hubby's wedding proposal 7 years later

our first home in Hinesburg
our wedding on the beach of St. Lucia
our honeymoon cruise through the Grenadine Islands
the birth of our 1st baby ~ a beautiful son
Birdie being rushed to the NICU 2 days after birth
the day Hubby told me I lost my nephew
telling Hubby that Birdie was going to be a big brother
the car accident on the morning I went into labor with Nut

Birdie's rendition of Santa Claus, sung to the BratPea
Nut's uncanny ability to always make me laugh
Hubby's unwavering devotion to his sons
how lucky I am for being the Queen among these Princes!

3 Beautiful Things 45/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Wednesday April 15, 2009:

1. getting the boys to two separate practices on time
2. seeing their passion for baseball shine through
3. watching the coaches and kids build a team

Life is good when you witness your kids' athletic feats.