The best job I've ever had

I originally posted this on MySpace, so now I'll repeat it here.

You will find as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
~ Henry Drummond

I firmly believe down deep in my heart that the first time I ever felt the true meaning of unconditional love was the moment I gave birth to my first baby.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I wondered how I could EVER love this next child as much as the first. I cried many tears before my little guy came into my world because I didn't want the magic that I had with baby number one to end or become clouded.

But the love for each child is very unique; there are no favorites, just differences in how the love is connected and expressed.

More than a decade later, that love has deepened and intensified by the day. There are times that I don't like my children's behavior, but the love and respect I have for them will never diminish. It's etched deep in my soul.

What I know for sure is that I would give my life to spare my child any pain or grief. Being a mother is the most rewarding, and heart wrenching, relationship I have ever experienced. And the best job I've ever had!

The only thing I imagine that will exceed my love for my sons is the love I will have for my grandchildren. I am so looking forward to the day when my children experience their own unconditional love as a parent.

I hope that I'll live long enough to love my great-grandchildren, too! Meanwhile... I thank God for giving me the privilege of motherhood.

And to those who don't yet have children, I never believed the testimony of mothers who were smitten by their kids, but believe me now when I say… the best is yet to come.

3BT Things 57/365

My gratitude journal for time period 4/26 - 5/2/2009:

1. nice weather for Little League opening day
2. recognition for both boys re: their hard work on the fundraiser
3. one fantastic victory and one close game with signs of promise

Life is good when everyone leaves the ballpark happy.

3 Beautiful Things 52/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Wednesday April 22, 2009:

1. my favorite motherhood moment of the week: watching the boys make strides to achieve success at the goals they set for themselves

2. my favorite day in April: Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's (Although we didn't go this year, we had 2 last year! Come on, you would have, too...)
3. my new favorite words: "BRUINS WIN!"
Do I sound like a broken record? Well, bear with me because I think I'm going to say it alot in the upcoming weeks!

Life is good when you make favorites.

3 Beautiful Things 47/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Friday April 17, 2009:

1. The boys completed their "Honey Do" lists without grumbling
2. The boys cooperated with my plans to green-up the T-Ball field
3. The boys didn't whine when I got them a smaller size treat

Life is good when the boys are easy to please.

A Life Letter to My Sons

Thursday April 16, 2009

My dear sweet boys,

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me the privilege of being your mom. If I could stop the hands of time so I could keep you young, I would. In fact, I'd turn the clock back to the days that you were both babies, so I could relive every single day from Thursday October 28, 1998 until Monday September 10, 2001. Then keep rewinding over & over.

But I know that's impossible so I will try my best to guide you through this sometimes charming, sometimes catastrophic ride called Life.

I pray with every beat of heart that I will live long enough to hold my great-grandchildren in my arms as I sing them lullabies. However if for some reason I cannot be there, I want you to honor these keys to life:

always respect your fellow man, regardless of your differences
always be polite & courteous
reach out to those less fortunate than you
pay it forward
treat people the way you would want them to treat you

extend tokens of appreciation & affection
don't be afraid to express your true feelings
be honest, loyal & dependable
question authority without confrontation
your actions speak louder than words

Also please always remember that...

work is always secondary to family
having a passion for something is one of life's treasures
a higher education will enhance your future
you can only make a first impression once
punctuality shows respect
when you commit to something, follow it through to the very end

a tattoo is permanent
no President has ever had their ears or tongue pierced
drugs destroy brain cells
smoking is a filthy, cancerous habit
someone is always watching you
you must be willing to pay the consequences for your actions

it's okay to admit when you are wrong
an apology is more effective with sincerity
humility is more honorable than pride
words are very powerful weapons

the words "I love you" are not just a phrase; it's a feeling
a pet is a lifetime commitment
it's vital to give back to your community
laughter is the best medicine
it's okay to cry

a gentleman always holds or opens a door for others
women enjoy sincere compliments, not catcalls
sex and making love are two different things
you must ask your future in-laws for their blessing
it is noble to get down on one knee when proposing

romance is one of the keys to undying love
endearment is a valuable part of any relationship
communication will simplify your life
fidelity, trust & devotion strengthen your bond
it's never too late to start over

no matter where you go, I will be with you in spirit
you have made me very proud
the world needs positive role models, so be one
your home should always foster love & support

Although the path to your future may have been unclear, my goals for you were always decisive. I believe that I was put here to leave you with a legacy of love, hope and honor.

I have always loved you more than mere words could express. And if I should ever be asked what good I have done for mankind, I would confidently say that I was a good mother.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mom

3 Beautiful Things 39/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Thursday April 9, 2009:

1. building great relationships every year with each of my sons' teachers
2. spending lots of quality time with the boys when they're at school
3. meeting the most clever, the most dynamic, the most imaginative teacher in the world: Shira Seigel, who was Nut's pre-school teacher

Life is good once you're old enough to enjoy going to school.

3 Beautiful Things 38/365

Here is my gratitude journal for Wednesday April 8, 2009:

1. a quiet dinner with just the kids
2. a little fun with Birdie as we rehearsed his lines
3. the spontaneous bear hug from Nut

Life is good when the kids are happy.

It really does hurt more...

I originally posted this blog on another site, but I think it's too important not to share again with more of you... For those of you who are parents, you will completely understand and identify with my sentiments here. For those of you who have yet to endure the pleasures and pains of parenting, take notes.

Being a parent is tough. I remember once my mother telling me that being the disciplinarian was harder than being the one disciplined. And at the time that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. How could that possibly be true when I was the one who took the punishment? I was the one who got the spanking, got grounded, got sent to my room, or got scolded … she was the one who doled it out! I think her words were "this hurts me more than it hurts you..." What the heck was she talking about?!

That was probably 36 years ago… when I was a naive child who knew it all, who couldn't be tamed, and who challenged all the warnings. Now I fully and completely understand exactly what she meant. You see I live with a carbon copy of that self, but just in the form of a 10 year old boy. Is this karma? No doubt!

So now I live those moments of being the parent who has to teach their child a painful lesson through discipline. I can honestly say that we do NOT enjoy doling out punishments, but we believe that discipline is really about teaching your child a lesson via strong, definitive messages. We struggle with these choices and decisions. It's gut wrenching to have to deliver severe consequences to your child's behavior, knowing that you have somehow failed him in the first place to have him act out with such negativity. Yet ultimately you must forego the alliance you've forged with your child in order fortify the respect they must earn from you, their fellow man, and society.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world and one must be totally dedicated to the task, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health, in good times and in bad, as long as you both shall live. It's a commitment as profound as marriage but one that, if you successfully adhere to, will bestow great wealth to all. It will build strong character, morals, fortitude and reverence.

There are times that I wish someone would step in and parent my kids for me because sometimes it's way beyond exasperating. But no one should ever question my love, my devotion and my dedication to these beautiful human beings. I've said it before… I don't always like my childrens' behavior but I will LOVE them until the end of time. No matter what.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.