A Tiny Spark of Inspiration

Sometime I look out and see nothing but the fog. Gray, dense & overwhelming. Other times there's a burst of color that explodes in my mind when I'm inspired. Like any good swift kick, all it takes to start the ball rolling is an "ah ha" moment.

As I said in my last post, I've been tinkering on Facebook. I've found some old friends from way back and it feels fabulous to rekindle these connections. There are many others who I have yet to find, but I'm sure that when the time is right, we'll come together.

Meanwhile, I've been doing some thinking lately about where I want to go, and how I want to lead my life. Now that I've got a 6th grader (a.k.a. "tween") in the house, I really have to buckle down and start dredging up some super-positive habits. I need to start changing things about me, or at least modifying things.

Hmmm... where do I start?

My self is the first thing on my makeover list. Got to start dusting off the fitness DVDs and sprucing up my eating habits. Now that it's summer (although you'd never guess it's summer if you live in VT where the sunshine has been nearly non-existent) I'm going to start enjoying the great outdoors with the boys; hiking, biking, swimming, walking, rollerblading, and exploring the sights. I'm even thinking about doing plyometrics at the gym with Birdie and taking a Zumba class.

My job is the next thing that I need to change. I really need to find something new, maybe inside a school or hospital so I can really make a difference. Meanwhile, I have to garner more knowledge in order to expand my horizons. I want to talk to an advisor at the community college and get a direction, although I'm leaning a bit toward health care.

Baby steps to a brighter future.

I'll need an angel to guide me and a drill sergeant to keep me in check. Any volunteers?

Out there

There's always someone out there ready to knock you off balance... like the people you consider friendly acquaintances who obviously turn up their nose as you walk by or turn their head to avoid eye contact.

The other day I was chatting with a couple of friends about how awkward it can be to stroll through life, especially in a small town with all of it's ugly politics. You can find yourself befuddled by the measurement of your designated status.

Who dictates this kind of hierarchy? And what makes these people think that others don't notice their pretension?

Like the mom who drove her 2nd grader to school in their Porsche... or the 4th grader who went around school threatening to peg baseballs at his younger rivals... or the crowd who goes suddenly silent as you enter the room.

All I want to do is go to work to earn a few bucks, go to the game to watch my boys play and go about my day to somehow make a small difference.

I do not live my life proclaiming my value based on the car I drive, the clothes I wear, the money I make, or the people in my social circle.

And those who think otherwise have not taken the time to truly get to know me.

It's not a secret... it's just mine! For now.

Lately the kids have been riding me about how much time I spend on the computer. What annoys me about it is that they say it in front of Hubby, which makes it sound like I'm ignoring my duties as Domestic Goddess.

I'm no Cinderella or Suzie Homemaker for that matter, but my house is not a pigsty. On the other hand it's not immaculate either. Nobody will ever mistake me for the Queen of Clean. So I ask you... IF

they get to school on time, with everything they need
then I get to work on time, most days with everything I need
they get to every practice & game on time, with everything
they go on vacation, Bruins games, the movies, date night, etc.

Before or After

I've worked a 5-7 hours shift, standing for nearly 80% of it
I've sat in the rain or freezing cold to watch every game/practice
the laundry is done
the meals are prepared
the fridge & pantry are stocked
the floor is swept
the rugs are vacuumed
the bathrooms are scrubbed
the homework is done
the daily grind is over
and everyone go to bed in a comfortable, happy home

then why the eff are they griping?

I think of myself as someone who loves to connect with others who share my life, someone who would give the shirt off her back to those in need, someone who enjoys being creative, someone who is making a difference, and someone who deserves "me time".

That's why I spend so much time here. Writing, for me, is intensely therapeutic, extremely liberating, and very enjoyable. I hope my sons will find this same joy and passion for writing as I do.

One of the reasons I created this blog, as well as my gratitude journal, is because it helps me appreciate the reason I've been given this life. It keeps me grounded by reminding me just how good I've got it.

I cannot wait until the boys are able to savor the words I have written here for them. I hope that they, too, will leave a similar legacy to their children someday.

So, boys, until I'm ready to share this sacred place with you & Daddy, I'll keep it a secret. This is my retreat and I'll spend as much time here as I need.

Consider it a Mother's Day present... to myself.

Grace in Small Things: The View

There are things in this world to which someone is drawn, mesmerized, enchanted, encouraged or transfixed. This is my tribute to a few of those things.

1. relaxing in the hammock on a sunny afternoon, book in hand, a gentle breeze aiding the swing, hearing the sound of the wind rustle the leaves above as the orioles call to each lovingly

2. watching the kittens playfully tease each other, pouncing, ambushing, and chasing, weaving in & out of every nook and hiding spot until exhaustion beckons them to a quiet retreat and a much needed cat nap

3. sitting on the cold bleachers, muscles tense, pulse racing as one boy steps on the mound and the other readies himself behind the mask to catch a sly curve ball, robbing the batter of his chance to shine

Welcome to my blog

Sometime you feel so far away from those closest to you.

There are times that I'd like to whisk away from the chaos of being a wife & mom to sit on your back porch, a cold drink in hand, and just simply chat. I miss talking to you when I need some friendly advice or even a nudge of encouragement. I wish we could get our families together for camping trips, backyard BBQs or movie nights. Then there are times I want to slip away for a couple of hours, just you and I, to share a plate of nachos and a pitcher of margaritas, while we reminisce about the past, discuss the present and hope for the future.

Because my ever-changing schedule prevents me from touching base with all of you more often, I've created this blog to stay in touch... I hope you enjoy peeking into my world by reading my journal entries. I love to chat and this is my way of talking to you, my friends & my family, about the things that I most value.

As always I send my biggest hugs, my most sincere best wishes and my heartfelt love to you and your family. May everyday bring you satisfaction & contentment, joy & wisdom, and peace & harmony.

Hugs ~~ Lisa