Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Rules of Summer

Alright Ladies, it's that time again! I think we all need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, raise your big toe and repeat these words below:

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals & open-toed shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will wax the hairs off my toes and the tops of my feet.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,
mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into
place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.
Scholl if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me
as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they
actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

Now, quick... pass it on!


  1. Well there, Miss Girly Girl :o) - I am a... kicking it up barefoot, naked toenail, no rings on my feet, crooked little toes...kinda gal - and as Ray would say "Spank you very much".


    Ssssssssssaaassssyyy, huh?

  2. Heather, the original rules included a trip to the nail salon for a pedicure. Here's my take on that: Eeeeeewwwwww!!!!

    The only person who touches my feet will not live within 100 miles of me & never see my face again until I go for another pedicure.

    I don't do nail polish either, and probably never will. And by the way, I wore sandals yesterday and my heels were not, and are still not, baby-butt soft! But I'm moisturizing as I write this.

    Seriously, I just thought most of this was quite funny since I have a foot aversion. I hope you got even a wee bit of a chuckle out of it...

  3. Oooohhhhh mmmyyyy! HA HA HA HA!!!!
    No jellies, baby! I do paint the French manicure on my not so sausage toes, but I also scrub them with the handy dandy toe scrub brush often enough that it is not so eeewwwwish!
    I just saw a woman today who was wearing "oh so stylish" sandals, but her toes were gripping the granite under her shoes!!! OOOOOHHHHH NNNOOOO!!! Why? Excuse me? Don't you get blisters under those precious metatarsal holders???? Just wrong!
    I AM SO BAD!!!

  4. I'm a believer, too. Our 90 degree weather today caught me with pre-summer condition feet, so I had to wear my clogs anyway. I usually don't have to get my feet into shape until at least the end of May!

  5. 'course I got a chuckle because I've seen a many of fancy toes...everywhere I go - mine just don't fit the sandal :o)

    hahahaha :o)


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