Ever get the feeling that there's more out there that you are missing out on? There are days that I am plagued by this nagging thought and then there's the norm: living day to day not really thinking, feeling or caring what else is out there, just thankful that I have an ordinary life with two healthy children, one great husband, a quaint warm home, a garage of reliable vehicles, food on the table, and a steady job.
Yesterday as I was working there were several women who caught my eye because they looked so stylish and put-together. I felt pangs of envy. There I was in my 2nd-hand boring khakis, unflattering red polo shirt and an ugly black sweater that keeps the chill off. My make-up, which is applied very haphazardly most morning because I'm often racing the clock to ensure that the kids have all that they need for the day, was smudging. My hair was drooping and looking pretty drab. I try to make an concerted effort every day to accessorize myself and my mousy mop, but I just don't have the money, the flair or the time to make myself look like the cover of Vogue.
Yes I'm in a funk. Lately I've been eating like crazy, trying to fill some kind of void. My closet is full of clothes that I've owned for decades, nothing new or remotely tantalizing. In fact I've worn the same two pair of jeans for 3 years now and they are starting to wear so thin that I wonder if they'll hold up in the next wash. I don't like the way I look lately. All I want is for some fairy godmother to wave her magic wand over me and turn me into Cinderella Mom.
But here's the reality check: only I have that control. So today I made myself a promise: I will count my blessing before I get out of bed and remember how very lucky I am to be me, faults & all!
3 months ago